I just got home from a family trip to Pennsylvania.
It wasn’t a vacation. My purpose was to see my Father at his new Memory Care “home.” Also help my sister with the work it involves to keep his “life” going outside of the walls of his new “home,” as well as make decisions about his current care. I had not seen him since he fell last December.. and the effects of that fall and his current decline. It has been a horribly long arduous road. Any one who has experienced this knows.
And here I am 1200 miles away trying to be as supportive as I can. My sister sits on the “frontlines”. She has been the first responder. Now the Memory Care staff is and that is a wonderful thing.
It was a week of mixed painful emotions. Part way through the week I thought… he can’t stay here! He is the highest cognitive functioning resident. I sat with him at his table of guys and no one could carry on a conversation… or if they did.. it didn’t make much sense.
I spoke to my sister about bringing him home to live out his days in the home he worked so hard for. He could watch his deer, the squirrels and the giant turkeys.. (you wouldn’t believe how big the turkeys are in PA!). We could remodel the downstairs bath, widen hallways for his wheel chair. Isn’t this a better idea?
But based on the meeting with his nurse… by the time we got the house remodeled, and came up with the extra funds to bring him home (the most expensive option for senior care in his case), it would be too late. (he will continually decline) So with new plans to up his activities and physical therapies we move on.
So we’ve made the best decision we can make for today with tomorrow in mind. This is a hard time that most of us go through… where to have our parents live when they can’t live alone anymore. It isn’t about us, it’s about what is best for them. And for now that is the best decision.
Sharing our life with you.